70

Birthdays. I usually don't lament them. Instead, I have always looked forward to birthdays. But this year I've been in a bit of a funk as the big day has been approaching. It's not the number that makes me sad. I don't feel old. It's the fact that there's so much I have yet to do while I'm on this earth. And as my mother used to say when she got to be my age, "Ive got more years behind me than I have ahead of me." I've been fortunate to have lived a pretty amazing life ... by my terms ... and I want it to continue for many more years. I have goals and I'm trying to make each day count ... not always in big ways, but in small and significant ways that make a meaningful difference in the lives of others.

There's a YouTube channel that I like to watch ...

https://youtube.com/@NikolJohnson

I really enjoyed her message today. It was what I needed to hear as I lived this last day of my 6th decade of life. Granted, Nikol is much younger than me, but she works with many clients who are my age and older. She gets it.

There are lots of thoughts and memories running through my mind tonight as I write this, but I'll let Nikol sum it up for me. Here's a link to the video she published yesterday:

https://youtu.be/EHHrdCZqFVg

Thanks for reading my post. It is my wish that you and those you love are happy and healthy; and until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Emmy

Re-entering the Blogosphere . . .

 December 30th, 2022

Re-entering the Blogosphere . . .

It has been over a year and a half since I last made a post to my blog. That was in April of 2021. Each time I thought I’d write something, I felt so scattered, or void of inspiration, I just stopped. I didn’t even tell myself I would come back and try again. I just stopped! I can’t go back and recreate the thoughts or moods I had over the last twenty months, so I will just pick up from here; and if something occurs to me that harkens back to the days we were still deep in the pandemic, I will try to get that thought or emotion onto the page. I came to the realization recently that I was blaming the COVID-19 pandemic for my ambivalence and lack of enthusiasm, but I deluded myself. I used the pandemic as an excuse … a crutch … magical thinking … or whatever other term that allowed me to give up and attribute my stagnation to COVID-19. I wasn't personally afflicted with the virus, but it stole from me as we lost family members and friends. However, my husband and I both are fully vaccinated and boosted. We're going out and about, while exercising caution, and wearing our masks now that influenza, RSV and COVID-19 are currently on the uptick.

Since we are about to close the door on 2022, I’m thinking about how the past year played out and also thinking about what kinds of goals I’d like to set for myself for 2023. Over the past week, I have had a lot of time to think about these things because we were snowed in. The Blizzard of 2022, or Elliott, as it has been named, started a week ago today. As I write this, we are starting to thaw out. We saw the sun yesterday for the first time in almost a week. My little rural village was spared. We had a lot of snow, frigid temperatures, terrific high winds and blinding whiteouts, but it was nothing like Buffalo and other nearby towns experienced. We never lost power and our good neighbors checked on us, plowed our driveway and shoveled our walks. Thankfully, once it started to warm up, our frozen drains thawed yesterday. 😊

On Christmas Eve, all the roads were closed and there was a state of emergency. Local churches canceled their services. We watched the Christmas Eve service from the Vatican. It was comforting to see the beautiful St. Peter’s Basilica and hear the Pope’s meaningful homily. His message struck a chord with us.

So … watch for my posts in 2023 … and here's to closing this year in good health and starting the new year with plans to make it a good one for yourself, your family, your friends and our world.

And, as always, until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Emmy

P. S. If you've read this far, and you're looking for the part you must have missed that was about the loaf of freshly baked bread that's pictured above, I'm sorry; but you'll need to wait for the next post when I'll write about my breadmaking adventures over the past year! 😉

Spring Floral Arrangements and A Snowy Spring Day

The view this morning on our spring flowers and flowering bushes. Our andromeda japonica, azalea, and bleeding hearts all are under some heavy wet snow! Thankfully, by the time you read this, the snow will have started to melt!

We've had a delightful early spring with azalea and forsythia bushes in bloom and tulips and daffodils opening up and bringing cheer to the little garden spots tucked around our yard. When heavy wet snow was predicted this week, I got quite sad. So, I put my TO DO list aside yesterday and went outdoors to pick flowers and spend some creative time making floral arrangements.

But first, let me back up just a little bit. Over the past few months, I had watched some videos that demonstrated how to make fresh floral arrangements. Here is one I watched: https://youtu.be/wltUDiFQNFI  and here's another that I watched: https://youtu.be/sEIQsbqnwJU  I didn't have the kind of vessel I wanted to use, so I searched on Facebook Marketplace and found a glass one I liked. That was a few weeks ago. I ordered the supplies I needed, including a bouquet of flowers, in my curbside grocery order. I used the new vessel and the bouquet and was satisfied with my first attempt. It didnt seem a whole lot different to me than using silk flowers and greens for making wreaths or table-top arrangements. I used the floral preservative that came with the bouquet to extend the life of the arrangement and it lasted over two weeks. I learned that fresh arrangements are pretty big drinkers, so I watered it daily. Below are photos with captions from my first arrangement. You can click on the photos for a closer look. 

Flowers from the grocery store and the glass vessel I picked up on Facebook Marketplace . . .  ready to start arranging,

My first attempt at arranging.
I added some euonymus from our front yard as filler. 

To beat the weather forecast, I gathered several daffodils, tulips and forsythia branches yesterday to use in arrangements. I used a dish I had on hand for the first arrangement and used that same glass vessel for the second one. Below are photos with captions of both. You can click on the photos for a closer look.

My first trip outdoors to pick some flowers and branches yielded these. I placed them in water as I picked them and trimmed them before placing them into the arrangement.

In one of the videos that I watched, they used a screwdriver to make holes in the waterlogged oasis for the flower stems. This was very helpful because the stems can be a bit fragile.

Here is the first of two arrangements I made yesterday. I used a little ceramic pot that I had on hand.

On my second trip to the garden, I picked these. I used the same glass vessel that I got on Facebook Marketplace. I used the screwdriver to make holes.

I made this three-sided arrangement for our hall table.
The tulips closed overnight. It's nice to think that they sleep when I'm sleeping!

Now that I have had some practice, I hope to make more fresh flower arrangements, using flowers from our gardens and branches from our bushes . . . an occasionally flowers from the grocery store. I tend to be task oriented and it is sometimes a push for me to give myself some grace and walk away from the perceived "must do's" on my list. But it was well worth the time I spent yesterday. I enjoyed myself, learned some new things and picked up some skills, and have pretty flowers to enjoy inside . . . while those that are still outside are bending under the weight of the heavy wet snow. By tomorrow the snow should be gone and I can pick any that are not standing back up and put them in vases of water. 

If there is anything I learned from my experience yesterday, it was more about enjoying myself than about floral arrangements. I encourage you, dear reader, to give yourself the gift of time to enjoy a pursuit that is either one that is new to you, or one you would like to pick back up. It may sound a bit cliché, but the truth is that we are not guaranteed a tomorrow, so take advantage of the gift of today.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. As always, your comments are welcome. I will read them and respond here on my blog or on Facebook. It is my sincere wish that you and those you love are well and happy, and until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Emmy

The Year I Didn't . . .

The past year was one that I never would never have guessed I would experience in my lifetime. I did less of what was familiar and routine and more of what was different and uncomfortable. Reflecting back on these last 12 months, I realize I've grown in ways I never would have had I not been challenged by isolation, fear and need. In talking with my friends, I've discovered one thing we all had in common. Each of us thought that we would use the time in March last year, when the reality of COVID-19 really hit home here in the United States, to get our houses in order. Be it cleaning, purging, working on hobbies, or redecorating, most of my friends, and myself, naively believed we would just stay home, putter about, catch up on lots of things, and in a month or so, start living our old familiar lifestyles. Having a clean and organized domicile would be a perk of our month of self-quarantine and the time spent would feel less like sacrifice and more like a gift. We thought to ourselves . . . "I've got this". Soon, though, as the hours, and days and weeks went by, and the daily news reports were filled with stories and images of worldwide suffering and death, it became apparent that our first impressions were way off base.

How is it that we didn't understand what a pandemic really was? How could we be so naive? Had we been fooled by living in a bubble for years where a DPT shot in the arm as a child, or a flu shot as an adult kept us heathy? Did we even understand the alternative? For me, not having known anyone who suffered from diptheria or tetanus, it never registered with me that it could be so serious. Pertussis, commonly known as whooping cough, made its way into the local school in the late 50's/early 60's, but I only knew one person who had it and they were quarantined. I had influenza many times and was very sick, but nothing like what I was seeing on the nightly news . . . a deadly flu.

The isolation I originally embraced as an opportunity to get my life and home in order lead to fear. I feared the loss of friends and family due to the virus, the loss of the life of freedom and convenience that I'd grown so accustomed to, along with the inability to make plans for the future. Instead of the invigoration I had embraced in early March, by April my thoughts and my spirit were dampened. 

I didn't clean, purge, or organize. I didn't sew, draw, paint, knit or redecorate. I didn't garden. I didn't write and I didn't dream. I didn't do any of the things I imagined I would do during the shutdown. I worried about everybody and everything.

Slowly I learned how to function in new ways. Disbelief was replaced by a acceptance. I shopped for groceries online and had them delivered to our door. I made masks and gave them to friends, family, neighbors and the people who delivered groceries and packages to our door. I learned how to cope.

When elastic wasn't available, because all the home sewists exhausted the supply in stores and online by making masks, I dug out my grosgrain ribbons and used them to make ties. Sometimes having a stash of supplies pays off!

I made lists and made plans. My thoughts got clearer and I remembered pleasant things in my past and dreamed about the future. I wore my favorite perfume every day. I fussed with my hair as it grew longer and I put on my makeup. I stopped saving my favorite sweaters for good and wore them for every day. These habits gave me a sense of normalcy in an abnormal world.

While writing this post, I thought about my journey over the past year or so. Going through these changes reminded me of the stages of grief that psycholgist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross wrote about in her book, "On Death & Dying", which was required reading for a course I took in college. Before her death in 2004, Ross collaborated with David Kessler to write the manuscript for her final book, "On Grief and Grieving". It sounds interesting and I plan to read soon.

My stages seemed to follow this path:

Denial ... I was shocked and was in disbelief.  What I had only seen in science fiction movies was becoming a reality.

Anger ... As more news came out about how the virus spread around the globe, I became angry. I couldn't believe that this was "allowed" to happen and not stopped before it spread.

Bargaining ... I decided, if we needed to live with this threat, I could do so. I hoped it would burn itself out when summer weather arrived and we started to live outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air, like the influenza does that spreads across the US every winter. 

Depression ... Friends and relatives contracted the virus. The virus was continuing to spread. My depression was mixed with fear. Visions from the stories on the nightly news were burned into my brain and were hard to shake. 

Acceptance ... Hearing that vaccines were being developed and tested and would be available gave me hope. I have learned and practice safe ways to shop and socalize with others. I have only seen my friends and family on Zoom. I have a better understanding of what our future may hold and how I will need to function in our changed world.

There is a plethora of information on the subject of grief on the internet. A link to one source about grief follows:

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/grief/understanding-the-stages-of-grief/

This is a heavy topic, but one each of us has dealt with over the past 12 months; so I hope you, my dear reader, don't feel this post is preachy. Since some of my relatives and friends were diagnosed with Covid-19, I take it very seriously. We are not out of the woods, but there is light ahead as we make our way. Becoming knowlegeable about how a pandemic affects us and the world we live in is our responsibility. If we need more medical information, we can either read about it online from reputable sources, such as the NIH or the CDC, or consult with our own doctors. Information is key. 

Please continue to stay informed and please continue to wear a mask that covers your nose and mouth, keep the recommended distance away from others, and wash your hands! Some gatherings may need to be postponed, and others may need to be held in spacious settings to keep all participants safe. Zoom calls and Facebook messenger video chats have become commonplace and if you haven't tried either, I urge you to do so. With just a little practice, you can learn to use them and enjoy chatting and seeing unmasked faces! 

Some of the masks I made with grosgrain ribblon ties, before elastic became available. 
Another lesson learned during this pandemic was making do with things I had on hand.

As I alluded to in this post's title, this was "the year I didn't", which I described a bit herein. But it was also "the year I did" new things and learned new things. I learned a few of life's lessons along the way, too; but  that is a topic for a future post. 

Thank you for taking time from your day to read this post. Your comments are welcome here on my blog or on Facebook. It is my sincere wish that you and those you love are happy and healthy. And, until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand. 

Emmy

The Not-So-Pretty Side of Amaryllis

In a recent post, I showed photos of beautiful amaryllis blooms that we were enjoying this winter and wrote about why I decided to cut them and put the flowers in vases. You can read that post here:

https://studioemmy.blogspot.com/2021/02/thankful-morning.html?m=1

Now that all the plants in my little collection have had their flower stalks cut, the not-so-pretty side of growing amaryllis comes into play. Compared to other bulbs you may be familiar with, such as daffodils, tulips and hyacynths, amaryllis bulbs are huge. Here is some info about their sizes and what you can expect from an amaryllis bulb:

https://blog.longfield-gardens.com/amaryllis-bulb-size-what-the-measurements-mean-and-why-they-matter/

In my experience, an amaryllis bulb will have two stalks and some very large leaves that get heavy and floppy. They are a delight in the throes of a cold and snowy winter and I think it will be worth the effort to try to keep them over to get them to bloom next winter. For now, they will stay put in their pots so the roots won't be disturbed and I will try to give them just enough water to keep the bulbs healthy . . . not too much and not too little! When the weather is warm enough for them to venture outdoors, I will put the pots in a protected area where I can keep my eye on them. If things go well, I will bring them back inside and force them into dormancy.

For some, this might be too much bother. In fact, it might just be too much bother for me! But, it's worth a try. For all the beauty these magnificent floral blooms provide in the dead of winter, I will give it my best shot. And, should I fail, I know I can buy them on sale before Christmas at the local Tractor Supply store. When I found them there online this past December, I ordered three and picked them up curbside at the local store. It couldn't have been easier, and the price was very resonable at under $6 each. The ones at the local stores may be smaller bulbs and not as mature as some of the fancier ones at growers' websites, but these were worthy performers. I was given a fancy basket of three for Christmas that were bigger and sent up very healthy stalks and put out a colorful variety of magnificent huge blooms. If you look online when it is time to order them again in late fall/early winter, you will find all kinds and even some that are just the bulb, coated with wax, that will blossom in a vessel devoid of water or soil. They can even be suspended upside down for dramatic effect. 

I hadn't thought of preserving any of these giant flowers in my floral press until my husband suggested it. I certainly had enough blooms to spare a couple for preserving. They were such large flowers and after I dissected them, they required several pages in my press. They are safely tucked inside and battened down to dry and flatten. Time will tell, if they will look good enough to use in a collage or if they will be suitable for framing.

To view a close-up of any of the photos herein, click on the image.

An amaryllis bloom sacrificed for the flower press.

The flower press that my husband gave to me last year for my birthday. Not only is it functional, but is pretty with its wooden covers and the lever that keeps everything inside secure.

Petals of one of the giant red blooms and stamens takes up an entire page in my flower press.

Hopefully, these dissected blooms and stigma will provide some interesting results.

These delicate pink and white petals are a bit curly. I didn't want to slice them, so I'm not sure what I'll find when I open the press several weeks from now. At the bottom of the photo are the stamens and the stigma from the center of the bloom.

While I am on the subject of preserving flowers, I'm planning to open the box of last summer's pressed blooms that I saved. This is all new to me; but by watching YouTube videos, I feel confident that I can learn how to use them to make things. If I have any success, I will share it in a post.

The not-so-pretty amaryllis farm takes up a lot of real estate in our dining room window. When it gets warm enough this spring or summer, the pots will be moved outdoors where they will stay until I bring them back in the fall for their forced dormancy. Hopefully, I will have success with them and we will enjoy blooms next winter! Perhaps I should sacrifice a few leaves to press. Hmmmmm . . .

As I write this post, March is continuing to give us more wintry weather. If the old saw is true about the lion and the lamb in March, we should enter springtime with less snow and more patches of green grass. It takes a long time for what truly feels like spring to arrive here in WNY . . . when the buds on trees open, spring bulbs bloom and the songbirds return. However, this year, I have read on friends' Facebook posts that they have already seen robins. I have yet to see one, but I keep looking every day! After the unusual year we have all experienced, spring will seem all the more special to us . . . whenever it really gets here.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this post. Your questions and comments are welcome here on my blog or on Facebook. I will read them and respond.  It is my hope that you and those you love are happy and healthy. And, until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Emmy

A Blank Slate

Tomorrow is the first day of March, but I'm still in the wintertime purging and organizing mode that overcomes me each year in January. The heavy snows that fell this month have remained on the ground due to the very cold temperatures. The white snowscape has provided much-needed reflected light in the dark rooms of our circa 1846 home. Organizing and keeping things orderly is an ongoing struggle for me, so when bright light pours in our windows, I am cheered and tasks seem lighter than on the dark days we so often experience during the winter. The lake-effect clouds from Lake Erie are a reality here in WNY and when our yard is covered in bright white snow, or we experience the occasional sunny day, my energy soars.

In my studio, there are many small tools, notions, bits and bobs to keep track of. And since I like to make an occasional mixed media collage with found objects, I continually stash orphaned china, metal, glass, paper and textiles. If I don't take the time when I am working on a project to clean up after myself, or when I just drop things off on my work table and walk away, all those little things just pile up. Since I don't have an assistant, it's up to me to put things back in order. Where is my fairy godmother when I need her?

Blank Slate

This morning, as I erased the comments I'd written yesterday from our little blackboard in the kitchen, I started to think about the symbolism of the blank slate that was right there in front of me. In college, I learned about the concept of tabula rasa, (from the Latin phrase  meaning: scraped tablet), which can be traced back to Aristotle; but the philosopher John Locke is the person I remember for writing that the human mind is like a blank slate, that we are born without knowledge until we learn it by sensory or mental experiences. A better explanation than mine can be found here: 

https://www.britannica.com/topic/tabula-rasa

I am not relating the blank slate on our kitchen wall to humankind in this post. Instead I am stretching the philosophical concept a bit to fit my needs. The blank slate signifies to me a couple things. The first is that while blank, the slate has no impact on its own; but, secondly, it offers a new beginning for me. I can write ideas on it, my list of things I need to do, notes to my husband, our menu for the day, draw on it, or leave it blank. Walking past it when it is blank bothers me, so after I erase it in the morning, I always write on it. It might seem a little funny to other people, but it grounds me in a way that is much different than the long "to do" list in my planner.

Right now, March is a blank slate. When I turn the calendar page over tomorrow morning, I will hopefully see the potential that the new month holds. The days are open to me, like a blank slate, to fill as I decide. I want to make each day count . . . to organize, play, rest, reflect, and enjoy the ways I spend my days. It has been a bit of a struggle over the past year to make plans, but hopefully, that can be a part of what happens this March, too. March winds can bring about change and I hope that holds true for the blank slate that hangs on our kitchen wall. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. It is my hope that you and those you love are happy and healthy. Your comments are welcome here on my blog or on Facebook. I will read them and respond. And, as always, until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Emmy

Thankful Morning

The morning sun lights up these glorious amaryllis blooms. 

As I walk through the house on this very frosty morning, I'm thankful. Walking from the kitchen, I cast my eyes over to the dining room window where the sun lights up one of my tall amaryllis plants with its huge red blooms. I walk down the hallway to the living room where I am flanked by tables filled with special little gifts I've saved from loved ones, antiques that were handed down to me by my parents and grandparents and some things that I have made with my own two hands. The ice crystals formed on the living room windows remind me of cold mornings on our farm.

Ice crystals on the living room window.
It was 12 degrees this morning!

When I was a little girl, I used to stare out the window over the kitchen sink, with its pattern of ice crystals, to watch for the the little yellow dot to the west that was the school bus approaching from up the road. My father would often look over my shoulder at the snow-covered fields and recite the lines from a poem that he learned as a boy in the one-room school house he attended.

The snow had begun in the gloaming,

And busily all the night

Had been heaping field and highway

With a silence deep and white.

-- Excerpted from 

"The First Snowfall"

by James Russell Lowell

If I close my eyes, I can picture the image of us together at the window and hear his voice. I was safe and warm and loved. That is how I feel this morning and I am thankful. I wrap my hands around my warm coffee cup and consider all that I have in my life for which I am grateful.

If you are interested in reading the poem in its entirety, and about the author, here are a couple sites to look at online. As with any research, I often fall down a rabbit hole, and finding this poem was no exception. It gave me insight into its true meaning and also how my father may have related to it as an adult. What I had always considered in my mind that is full of romantic notions was that it was about the beauty of the snow, but it has much more meaning. Read on, my friends . . . 

https://poets.org/poem/first-snowfall

https://prezi.com/xwxjq1qmlibc/the-first-snowfall/

Back to my amaryllis, or is it amarylli? For more rabbit hole fun, you might want to jump in here to read up on pluralizing a genus name:

https://www.courier-tribune.com/article/20131211/NEWS/312119820

While watching one of my favorite YouTube channels, I noticed the host had cut her amaryllis blooms and placed them in a vase on a window sill. I was fascinated by the image and I jumped down one of those rabbit holes again. I hopped from site to site garnering all kinds of information about amaryllises . . . another way to pluralize the word to take up precious space in my brain. This time, I took the plunge and used the information and (gasp here) I cut the long heavy stalks of my potted and overcrowded amaryllises and put them in vases. From what I read, this will give the cut flowers a longer bloom time than left in the pot, provided I cut them before they have fully opened. A little floral preservative (the kind you get with cut flowers at the grocery store) helps them stay fresh a bit longer. I always have a few packs at the bottom of my kitchen junk drawer.

Some photos of the cut blooms are below. I am glad I stumbled over this information because I can enjoy the vases of flowers throughout the house and I don't need to constantly stake the heavy flower stalks with dowels and pipecleaners. I have given myself permission to cut my own flowers.

These blooms were cut at just the right time.
They have emerged as a spectacular sight.

These were mis-labeled on the box as red.
However, their delicate white with pink flowers are a delightful surprise.

These were partially open when I cut them,
but they've opened up and have looked good for over a week.

Those buds pictured above have fully opened.
Spectacular is the only word I can use to describe them.

I am thankful for the beauty of these flowers and for the memories of my childhood . . . triggered by ice crystals on a window. With well over a foot of snow on the ground and cold temperatures, I am glad I can enjoy winter beauty from inside these walls.  

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Your comments are welcome here on my blog or on Facebook. I will read them and respond. It is my sincere hope that you and those you love are heathy and safe. And, as always, until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.

Emmy