Before Daybreak . . .

3 a.m. It's too early to be up and at 'em, so I sit in my favorite old chair in the dining room, next to the hospital bed that my husband is using during his convalescence from heart surgery. Together 24/7. Learning what it was he did around the house that I wasn't aware of and figuring out how to fit his chores, my chores, errands, patient care and visits from the home care nurses and physical therapists into each day. I think I'm coping, but being up in the wee hours of the morning, which is my new "normal", isn't the best way for me to spend my nights. I should be sleeping. Our mind and our body have a sensitive relationship. When one suffers, the other is affected. My brain is full of thoughts. My body is weary. 

So, here I am ...  up at 3 in the morning. I watch my husband sleep. I listen to his soft unlabored breathing. His chest slighty rises and falls in a soothing rhythm. Soft music plays on the TV channel called New Age music. I like it because the tunes are unrecognizable and there aren't any lyrics to get stuck in my head. And then, there's the coffee. Coffee at 3 o'clock in the morning tastes really good. It's a little ritual that I'm enjoying during this crazy phase in our life. Life. As I type the word, it jolts me. Life. It's never boring or predictable. And as much as I like to plan out my days, and my imaginary routine, those plans often go out the window as soon as I put my pen down after I finish composing my to-do list. There is no routine.

Flexibility is a learned habit, practiced under duress and a requirement made real by this unpredictable life we're sharing. When my husband was recovering in the hospital, I marveled at how the nurses dealt with the challenges of their job. Their "normal" 12-hour shift was exhausting to observe. How they coped was a mystery to me. I gained a greater appreciation for their profession. Their ability to be flexible and handle emergencies was part of their job, and not for just one patient, but for 8 or more patients ... each one with different medical needs. They taught me so much. I need to remember them in my prayers. 

Deep breath. I can hear the much-needed rain falling on the roof and trickling down the gutters. In the absolute quiet, I can settle down a bit. My brain and body have a chance to chill out and do a reset before daylight introduces another day.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. As always, your questions and comments are welcome here on my blog or on my Facebook post. Kindly add your name, initials or something that will identify yourself to me when you post comments on my blog. Blogger doesn't always recognize my friends and calls everyone "anonymous"! I love to read your comments and after I've read and approved them, they'll appear on my blog. It is my sincere wish that you and those you love are happy and healthy. And until we meet again, may the Lord hold you in the hollow of His hand.